And so.. I went to Greece..

“What do you think about the refugee crisis? Do you think we should open our borders to them?”

                I had been in many many situations where this was being discussed. Some thought it was too dangerous to let them in. “ISIS is clever, they will send operatives in disguised as refugees.” Some argued that it was our Christian duty and quoted Matthew 25. Some wonder why they can’t go back to where they came from, since they aren’t traveling legally. Whenever my opinion was asked, I always struggled with what to say. I could see the main points from both sides. I couldn’t figure out how I felt definitively one way or the other. I just knew that either way, there were human beings that needed help. So I decided that the only thing for me to do was to go.

So I went to Greece.

                  I don’t know what I was expecting when I got to Greece but what I was met with was definitely not it. I will be the first to say that I have always been intimidated by the Muslim culture. But after the first day, I didn’t see Muslims. I saw mothers, fathers, brothers, children and family. I drank countless cups of tea with the women. I spent hours listening to stories of heartbreak, pain and death spoken through tears in broken English or the kindness of refugee friends who could translate. Through that, I came to know the truth of this statement. “You have to understand, no one puts their children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land.”-Warsaw Shire.

                  I don’t think that there was a single part of my heart that wasn’t completely changed by the things that I saw, heard and felt during my month at the Moria refugee camp. I saw fathers forced to rely completely on an unseen hand to feed and provide for their families and my independent pride was crushed. I saw mothers sitting with nothing to do, no houses to clean or food to cook and I joined in their feeling of uselessness. I heard countless stories of the loss of life and I reevaluated the far reaching consequences my actions have. I looked into the emotionless eyes of the littlest children, children who should be bubbly and full of mischief and personality and was thankful for my enchanted childhood. I saw pictures of desolation, where my friends houses used to stand, on street corners where nothing resembling houses now stand. I talked to a doctor who isn’t sure he’ll ever get to practice again. I talked with a poet who is famous in his country, yet here, feels that his voice is not heard. I saw rocks being thrown by children with racism pounded into their heads all their lives at other children in the same situations as them. I saw scars, the self inflicted and the unwanted. I saw people laying on the floor unable to breathe well or function because of immobilizing panic. Humans drowned on the crossing from Turkey while I was there. A mother lost her child.

                  BUT… I also saw children laughing and playing beside a barbed wire fence, unaware that they were the objects of such heated debates all over the world. I saw a new believer be baptized in the Aegean Sea and rise up soaked and beaming. I saw volunteers lean down to hug the crying child and pick up countless bags of trash.  I saw a lot, the good and the bad.

                     But more than all these things, I saw humans. Hurting, sad, hopeless human beings. Unfortunately, the crisis continues, yet the reporters have gone home. The moment of truth comes……and many change the channel or scroll on by. The crisis has fallen from primetime tv and it seems, from people’s minds. The pope has made his appearance. A few movie stars have stopped by to see what’s going on, yet they too have gone home.

                  I say all of this, not to inspire you to go to Greece, although the need is great and the blessing enormous. I don’t even say this to try to get you to change your mind on the refugee crisis, although may the Lord move the way He sees best. I say this all to remind you that the job is not done. The crisis is not over. The battle is very real. Satan and his armies are armed and fighting hard to win battle after battle. Pray. Where the devil is focused and fighting, the followers of Christ should be focused and fighting twice as hard. Pray. Are the followers of the Messiah equal determined to fight, sacrifice and do what it takes to claim the victory that Jesus gives? Pray. Nations that were basically cut off from the Gospel are flooding to our doorstep, eager for something more. Pray.  Do we forget that the Master says that the fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much? (James 5:15) Pray. The Lord is moving in amazing ways. Pray that it could continue. Prayer shouldn’t be  your backup plan, consolation prize, or last resort. Prayer is your most powerful weapon, your direct communication with the Maker and Sustainer of the universe. Don’t forget that or take it for granted. The world needs YOU.

PRAY.

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My wardrobe capsule..

Hello, it’s me.. again. Finally.

For a little while now I have been hearing about this thing called a wardrobe capsule. Finally, I decided to stop reading about it and start my own experience. That just means that I decided that I would wear only 25 articles of clothes for a whole month. This included 5 dresses, 3 shirts, 1 pair of sweats, 1 dressy top, 1 sweater, 1 pair of leggings, 1 swim suit, 2 jackets, 1 pair of socks and 3 pairs of various shoes/flipflops. The rest of the allowed clothes were taken up by underwear. I should mention that my little sister and cousin took up this quest with me. (Which was awesome and very helpful.) Me and my younger sister set out to take a picture each day.. which failed. (I think we have 3 🙂 This is us, all sparkly clean, excited and totally untired of our clothes! IMG_20160515_123816196_HDR

Step 1. Picking the clothes that I would be wearing continually for 30 days. I started choosing and gathering up my clothes at around 11 pm on the night before we officially started. In a way, I wish I had given myself more time to chose and reason things out, but in a way, I’m also glad I only gave myself so long to stress about it.I knew this would be hard. For one thing, I have so many clothes. How would I ever narrow it down to what I wanted to wear for a whole month? But as I started sorting through my clothes and picking out what I wanted to include, the choices actually started to make themselves. I came to find that I actually don’t own a lot of clothes that I just love. (This reminds me of the Marie Kondo book where she tells you that if something that you own doesn’t spark joy, get rid of it.) It shames me to think of all the things that I just had to have, that I now don’t even care about.

Step 2. I removed all the clothes from one of the drawers in my dresser and just put all of my allowed clothes in it (except for my dresses and jacket). Let me tell you, it made a pathetic little pile. Actually, let me just show you. It looked so pathetic that I put my pet fern (named Vern by my dear brother) in the picture to try and spruce it up. IMG_20160614_105337.jpg

This is what my choices looked like when it came time to decide what to wear for any and all occasions. (Actually, honestly, my pile of clean clothes was very often a whole lot smaller than this! ) One thing I learned through this experiment was that I needed to be a whole lot more aware of laundry and what clothes were dirty and when I needed them next! Take my socks for example. In the summer I wear no socks if I can help it, except to work. I am on my feet all day so socks and shoes are a necessary evil. I learned the hard way that I needed to pay attention to my wardrobe for the next day. I came home from work, flung my socks in the wash and forgot about them….until it came time for work the next day. Yes, I had to wear dirty socks to work. To say that I was semi-annoyed at myself was an understatement but I made sure my socks were clean from that point on.

It seems unnecessary to say (yet I’ll say it anyways) that clothes got “washed” in the sink by hand, hung to dry and called good several times throughout the month!

One thing that I thought about constantly throughout this little endeavor was how nice it was to not stand in front of my closet and wonder what I was going to wear. (Yeah, we all know that feeling.) I just went to my closet and picked the clothes that were clean. It was a strangely freeing and satisfying feeling. I grew to really enjoy the lack of pressure to look nice and to impress people by my clothes. I don’t know why that pressure was suddenly gone, maybe because there just wasn’t a whole lot I could change. Or maybe it was a side effect and the excitement of being in an experiment and not “real life”. (I’m not sure if that makes sense the way that I want it to.) Basically I believe that you can survive anything (like this experiment, I don’t claim this for just anything in life) for a given amount of time if you set your mind to it.

Anyways, I have been trying to write this post for weeks now. So I guess I might as well include some of the things that I’ve done since this experiment ended.

#1… I survived! Even more, I was actually kind of sad when the month was over and I had to go back to dealing with more choices and clothes again. (Call me crazy but I’ve never been much of a girl when it comes to clothes.)

#2…. I got rid of ALOT of clothes. Which was partly motivated by the fact that we had a fundraiser garage sale that I desperately wanted to do well. (It did very, very well.)

#3…. I must confess, it is so easy to slip back into the routine of wearing way too many clothes. When we only had so many to wear I didn’t layer as much. You see how long you can go wearing the same thing between washes also! (Don’t tell my mom but it’s so easy to throw something in the wash if I don’t feel like wearing it again or dealing with it.)

I am now working towards having less clothes and making this into a lifestyle change, instead of a one time experiment. So, I guess if you are to get anything out of the ramblings of this experimenter, it’s this. If you have been curious or considering the wardrobe challenge, DO IT. Even if you don’t get rid of anything when it’s over. It is well worth the self deprivation. I think it is also well worth the stretching, extra work and the self discipline that it takes to stick with it. (Even when you have the perfect thing to wear just hanging in your closet, so close, yet so far away.)  Plus, (atleast for me) it felt really good! If you aren’t so sure about it, taylor it to make it your own. Cut out a handful of clothes this week and maybe some more the next. Or add another 5 things you can wear each week that goes by. Or try to get rid of 5 tops each week. Honestly the options are endless when it comes to this kind of challenge. (Just do something, it’s worth it.)

I’ll leave you with the life changing truth of John 3:30. “He must increase, I must decrease.” Let that sink in and saturate your whole way of living. HIM.. not me. Never me.

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Anyways, that’s all for now. Thanks for reading. Bye 🙂

Alanna

 

 

 

 

 

Rice and beans, Beans and rice..

Experiment numero uno…. (Number 1 for my English speaking friends 😉 

This last week, I chose to try to experience a tiny taste of what it’s like to live in poverty, atleast from a food perspective. Rice, beans and the occasional chicken. (Chicken because I’m not sure where I would find goat meat without doing something illegal or expensive) This is just a little summary of how each day has gone. I think that this experiment is going to make me look like a wimp, but the truth is, I probably am.

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Day #1 [Sunday] of my experiment with eating only rice and beans. So I’m about 13 waking hours in to my week of only rice and beans. So far I have wanted to eat everything from ice cream to the starbursts at the bottom of my church clutch to the beautiful fluffy popcorn that my dad made. Sunday may have been a mistake to start out this little test of will. Sunday is our family’s day to create food and eat. Well not this girl. But it is now 9:08pm and I think that I will survive my first day.

Day #2..[Monday] Ok, so I thought Sunday was hard! I work at a deli/bulk food store and let me tell you.. even the chocolate things were looking good! (I despise chocolate) I spent all morning praying that soon it would be an appropriate hour to eat lunch. On a normal day when lunch time rolls around I stand there and stare into the deli case. What do I feel like eating? There are so many options, yet I don’t feel like eating them. What kind of meat for my sandwich, what kind of cheese? Shall I make it hot or cold? Basically the options are many on a normal day. Today, well today they were endless and nonexistent at the same time. Everything (yes, even that pickle loaf) looked and smelled better than it ever has before. Rice and beans for me. But I made it through, only to start our fundraising concession stand for the first time this evening. Those burgers almost made me give up my experiment. Ahh! They looked and smelled so good! It was an extreme test of my will power to stand there and grill them. But once again, it’s time for bed and I have made it through the day eating nothing but rice and beans.

Day #3..[Tuesday] Ok, today was a lot easier. I didn’t have to work today so the temptations weren’t quite as abundant. It was also a gorgeous day. (go Ohio!) So I spent all day outside working in the glorious dirt. The thing that got me today was how hungry I was all day. Rice and beans doesn’t go very far in the long run. I have decided to only eat 2 meals a day, so I try to wait as long as I can to eat. So yes. I was hungry today. But here I am, 10:25pm and no worse for wear.

Day #4.. [Wednesday] Well I honestly don’t have much to say about today. I worked at the deli, but it wasn’t near as hard as the other day. Oh believe me, I do have a mental list of all the things that I plan to eat when I can 🙂 Something occurred to me today though. Whenever I get hungry, I get excited. I am one of those people who plan my day around food. Food excites me. It just hit me that when I get hungry I get excited and think Yeah, I get to EAT now.. Whereas someone who doesn’t have food security gets hungry and they may or may not have food for the next meal. How blessed am I that hunger pains means that it’s meal time! In many homes and lands hunger pains aren’t exciting. They are depressing, because what if there is no more food? It’s 10:26pm and I will live to see tomorrow. (Lord willing ) I can’t believe that it is already Wednesday, praise the Lord!

Day #5.. [Thursday] Today was a good day , well once I purposed in my heart that I would not give in. My parents are catering a reunion this weekend and today was bacon frying day..allllll day! There was a bajillion pounds of bacon fried in our house today. (maybe only 30 lbs) I love bacon. But I purposed in my heart that I wouldn’t even think about snatching any. Believe it or not, after smelling bacon all day, the smell actually isn’t all that appealing after awhile! I had a few bites of chicken today at lunch and let me tell you, it was welcome! It was not a bad day at all!

Day #6.. [Friday] Well today was spent packing up tons of food for the catering thing that my parents are doing this weekend and getting my family on the road to Tennessee. There isn’t really anything to report on the food front. It’s getting easier the closer that I get to my goal! It is such a gloriously beautiful evening, one that calls for friends! So I’m packing up to head over to my cousin’s house. Me, Amanda and Bethany are planning to sleep outside, so I guess we’ll see if we survive the night. (We better because I don’t want my last 12 meals on this huge, diverse earth to be rice and beans!)

Day #7!!!!!!! [Saturday] I can hardly believe it! This day marks a week now of beans and rice! I haven’t had any sweet tea, iced coffee, ice cream, or fruit since last Saturday! Basically I’ve had water and a LITTLE coffee. For anyone who knows of my deep love of ice cream, coffee and sweet tea, well it’s been hard. I’ve been dreaming of my return to my normal diet. (I have a gallon of garden tea waiting in the fridge and I may just eat ice cream for breakfast tomorrow!) Today was probably the easiest day yet, because well, I made it this far. I WILL NOT GIVE IN NOW! I have learned a lot about myself this week. As a general rule, I don’t have very good self control. (Note my previous post about my spending habits..) It has been so good for me to challenge myself in an area of my life that really hurts to sacrifice. I have the privilege of having two amazing parents who can cook like no one else that I know. I guess you just kind of get used to having great food around all the time and kind of eating what you want when you want it. I have also learned that it is easier to not give in to temptation when you have the accountability of people watching you and asking how the experiment is going. Several times I just really wanted to eat that cheese burger but I thought of how disappointed I would be in myself and how dumb I would feel telling others that I quit. So I didn’t quit. It is now 12:45am and I have survived one of the most mentally testing weeks of my short life.

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I have spent this week wanting a lot of things, yet it has helped put into perspective all that I have. I may write more about my findings later. This post is getting LONG! Congrats to everyone who made it through all of my daily play-by-play 🙂

My Start to Simplicity..

I am a spontaneous person. While this often leads me to a lot of interesting adventures/embarrassing mishaps, it unfortunately also has a tendency to show itself often when I am considering buying something. More often than not, I buy it. I tend to “live in the moment” and deal with the empty wallet depression later.

But lately, it hasn’t been the empty wallet that has been depressing me. (I have a love/hate relationship with money. I hate it, yet we all need it.) What is depressing to me is the full room in which I exist and the work it takes to clean and organize! I have the amazing ability to accumulate stuff! My mom likes to tell everyone that I was that child at school who would dig other kid’s trash out of the trash can and claim it as treasure. Now while I would like to say this is an exaggeration, I must own up to actually remembering doing this occasionally. (But really, who throws away a perfectly good scrap of paper, right creative people?!)

But lately this has been getting to me more than just that “I have to get rid of stuff” feeling that we all feel eventually. (except hoarders obviously.) I have been feeling guilty for all the stuff I have compared to the 80% of the world that lives on $10 a day or LESS.

I want to be a nurse and travel the world and help those who can’t help themselves. I want to go on all these mission trips and do good. Yet when the mission trip is over, I leave the dirty streets of the uttermost parts of the world and come back home to my over-crowded room and closet filled up with clothes I don’t even remember buying. (This makes it sound like I am just a shopaholic. In reality that is probably the exact opposite. I have never been much of a “girl”, much against the urging of my mother.) But I still have way more than I need, when others around me, even in my community, don’t have enough.

This has really been weighing on my mind. So I decided to start a struggle journey to simplify my life mentally and physically. Minimalism is the word for the movement.  So, of course my first step was seeing what others were suggesting about where to start and what to do and let me tell you, I found a lot! Actually if I was to be writing one of those “7 steps to minimalism” blogs, my first step would be…… 1. Stop read all these blogs, just use common sense and DO something! But I’m just writing my story so I’ll stay away from all that.

My second step was to go for the obvious. Yes, I attacked my closet and drawers. My goal was to cut the amount of clothes that I own in half. Let me tell you, it was easy for me in the moment but I still sometimes feel like I have no clothes anymore. I got rid of a lot of my sweatshirts, sweaters and t-shirts. I didn’t get to my goal of half YET but I would say roughly a quarter of my earthly clothes possessions are no longer mine. I will also tell you, it feels good and I’m still working on it but it isn’t enough.

I have a deep love for buying all things small business. I have discovered a few awesome little places that make Christ centered apparel and support charities with their profits.  Walk In Love is probably one of my most favorite in the history of all time. (free advertising:)  I have come to realize the long term benefits of less stuff, better quality, better causes. Buy less, choose well.

Anyways so yeah.. This is the ground floor of my process of simplifying. I want to rid myself of clutter and excess and hopefully gain a freedom in the process. But this isn’t just about simplifying my possessions and getting rid of stuff. It’s about learning to be [independent] from social media, the entertainment industry, trends and fads, and purposeless activities.  I have a few ideas for some new experiments. I’ll document my findings on here as a way to be held accountable now to the process that I’ve started.  So feel free to read along and learn from my journey and we’ll see what happens next!

-Alanna

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This Wandering Heart…

I never figured myself to be a blog writer. When you consider the abnormal ability that I have to procrastinate and my very diverse interests, it will be a miracle if I get anything written! But I am always up for a challenge (Unless it’s an all you can eat buffet, there I am happy to admit defeat.)

The reason for this blog is simple really. I love to write. Oh and also my professor insists that a blog is immensely useful in the life of a college student. (That’s what I am, a college student.) Apparently a blog is a great way to improve your writing skills. Oh and I guess it’s fun to look back on later. So to please her and to challenge myself, here goes nothing.

So this is me, improving my writing skills and letting y’all look into what I’m studying, learning and adventuring. Hopefully a lot of adventuring 🙂

So I want to explain the reason for the name of my blog [this wandering heart]. Just as a disclaimer, I have never been good at making decisions about names. Our last dog was a gorgeous Siberian Husky. We tried in vain to come up with the perfect name for him. The pressure was definitely on. You can’t name such a beautiful dog just any old name. So we talked, brainstormed and eventually just gave up and he became “the dog”. Sad story, I know. So I agonized for awhile about the name of this blog to be sure!  Anyways, moving on. The reason for this name. I have always identified with the song Come Thou Fount, especially the part where it says,

“Oh to grace how great a debtor, daily I’m constrained to be. Let Thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart oh take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.” 

I definitely feel like Robert Robinson may have been thinking of me and my life when he wrote the words to this song at age 23 after a life full of crazy living. (If he hadn’t died in 1790 I would check into him following me around to gain inspiration for his music.)

Another aspect of the name comes from my desire to wander the globe. I want to see all that God has given us, all the oceans, all the forests, all the mountains, all the great beyond. But in the travel and the adventure, I need God to bind my wandering heart to Him. I want to wander AND to be guided by the Lord. I don’t want to travel for the sake of traveling. I don’t want to adventure purely for the excitement of the adventure. I want God to bind this wandering heart to Him and to the plan that I know He is bringing about in my life.

I hope that makes sense. I’ve been known to be a rambler. (I guess maybe writing in this blog will help fix that)

So until the next time I sit down to wow you with my wisdom and tickle you with my anecdotes 🙂

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~This wandering heart, Alanna.

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